Mother's Day

I've sat down at my computer several times since Mother's Day, but not long enough to finish this post.  I think that's because my idea for it wasn't finished until today.  Funny how a thought can take a while to develop when other times it's completed right away.  I blame the delayed thought process on parenthood... there are just so many interruptions :-)  Anyway, Mother's Day seems like a long time ago, but here's what I've been thinking about since then...

I love being a mom, but Mother's Day hasn't always been my favorite day.  This is probably because I expect everything and everyone, including myself, to be perfect on this one day.  That's not realistic, or fair because most of my days as a mom involve someone crying, someone getting in trouble, kids fighting, whining, complaining and other messy things.  Well, kids will be kids, no matter what day it is.  The thing is, when you have young children they are not always going to notice and appreciate all the things you do for them, let alone thank you for your sacrifice and service.  Mother's Day might be an opportunity for them to practice some hospitality on mom, but when they are little it's usually Dad doing all the work.  Scott does a great job involving the kids and my Mother's Days are getting better every year.  This is probably due to the fact that my kids are maturing and so am I!  I've learned to express my wishes for the day and I'm learning to not expect perfection, but to appreciate progress.

This Mother's Day was great.  After church we met my Mom and Dad outside the Chelsea Market in NYC.  The pictures are of a beautiful day in and around Highline Park.  After their stay in NYC, my parents spent 4 days at our house.  It was with great joy that I practiced hospitality on them.  I love hosting them and we had a wonderful time together.  I am blessed to have a mother who loves and gives so much of herself to me and my family and who has dedicated her life to being my mom.  When I spoke with my mom this morning she thanked me for a lovely visit.  She said how proud she was of me as a mom and daughter.  She confirmed what I have been processing since Mother's Day...  (I'm slow, I know)  It is a privilege to be a mother, but sometimes it's a thankless job.  I am trying to raise thankful children who consider serving others to be an honor and a blessing.  I hope they know that being their mom, although not always easy, is my greatest blessing.  I catch glimpses of them maturing, but may not see the fruit of my labor until they are grown and raising a family of their own.  Until then, I will continue to do what I do best, be their mom.

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

(Proverbs 22:6)

Whimsical holiness and hospitality

For 2 years our Pastor, Rob Parker, has been hosting 'God In The Bar' at The Mahwah Bar and Grill.  I went for the first time this past Sunday night.  The purpose of the event is to provide an opportunity for people to engage in a dialogue about things of faith in a non-threatening setting.  The restaurant provides a private room off the dining room, sets the tables with wings, nachos and sliders and guests are given 2 drink tickets.  The night is free!  Costs are covered by donations given to The Plant church.  MB&G's has kindly partnered with Rob and given him this opportunity.  It's really an amazing thing... talking about truths from the Bible, in a bar, in Bergen County, NJ. 

I think Hugh Halter, author of Sacrilege and The Tangible Kingdom, would refer to this as "whimsical holiness".  "That is, holiness that can enjoy a good party, concert, or Sunday sporting event while maintaining lines of clear conscience and non-compromise." (TK Primer)  I like the concept because I think it's what Jesus would do.  He befriended prostitutes, tax collectors and outcasts.  He didn't surrounded Himself with people who talked and acted just like He did.  In fact, He was often annoyed with the religious leaders of His time because they were all about The Law and He was about love and mercy.  He spent time immersed in His culture getting to know the needs of others and healing them not hurting them.

So, make plans to Practice Hospitality in a whimsical way.  (Keep entertaining light and playful.)  Here are a few suggestions...  go on a picnic or have a picnic in your family room.  Have breakfast for dinner or better yet, dessert for dinner!  Invite guests over and make dinner together.  Organize a progressive dinner in your neighborhood.  Most importantly, have fun and be creative.  Think outside the box.  Also, get to know the needs of those around you by getting involved in your community where there are sure to be lots of opportunities to practice whimsical holiness and hospitality.
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Also, if you want more information about 'God In The Bar' check out The Plant's website, www.theplantchurch.org.  If you are interested in attending, let me know.  And if you have some great, whimsical hospitality ideas, let me know that too :-)

15 years

Scott and I celebrate our 15 year wedding anniversary tomorrow.  Over the weekend we had fun trying to remember all the ways we've celebrated... What restaurant did we go to?; Which baby was I pregnant with?; Which newborn came with us?; Where were we living?; What gifts did we give each other?... Wow!  15 years is a long time and we enjoyed all the memories.

I love being married to Scott.  Because I love him I enjoy making him happy (meaning: I enjoy being hospitable towards him).  For example, I am very intentional about the way I welcome Scott home from work.  I've learned to greet him with a smile, hug and/or a kiss before I start in about the stresses of my day with the kids etc.  Tonight I was outside when he pulled in the driveway and I did a goofy jog to his car and stuck my smiling face through his opened window.  He shook his head and said, "I never know what to expect."  Women have that power over men.  We sure can keep it interesting...  On one particularly bad day I left a note on the door warning him of my mood.  He appreciated the heads-up.  If I'm in another room I do my best to get up and greet him.  I try not to be on the phone or distracted when he walks in.  I really am excited to see him and I do my best to let him know this.  Plus, I know he likes the attention so I'm gonna keep doing it ;-)

Also, I try to have the house picked up a bit (meaning: shoes out of the way so he doesn't trip when he walks through the door), music playing (meaning: some Nora Jones Radio to calm me), sometimes a candle burning (meaning: get rid of that broccoli smell) and dinner almost ready (meaning: we'll eat something, soon...).   Really, I think it's important to have a meal ready so that we can sit down together as a family and talk about our days.   Some dinners are better than others (ask my kids), but it's not just about the food, but about bringing the family together.  I try to serve Scott and make him feel honored.  He totally helps too!   It makes me feel good when I am hospitable towards him.  I want Scott to feel honored, important and welcome in his home, just like I would a guest. 

I do these things because I love Scott and because I can see how being hospitable towards him helps our marriage.  If you think hospitality isn't your thing, try practicing it on the ones you love, starting with your spouse.  Be intentional with your greeting and make sure your husband feels welcome in his own home!  Make having dinner together a priority, even if it's only a few times a week.  Imagine that your husband is a very important guest.  Practice hospitality on your hubby.